TYPICAL NEW YEAR'S POST

The start of a new year is often a time for reflection, goal setting, and decisions to make life changes. As humans, we seem wired to be on a quest of change and growth; hence our development as babies where on our own we decide to start crawling, walking, then running and sprinting. There is something that seems cleansing about the opportunity to start fresh or be pushed to have courage to do something different that maybe we’ve wanted to do, but have been fearful of.

I had a couple things I wanted to share in relation to the new year; reflection, something I am thankful for, and some goals on my mind. These might seem a bit scattered but hopefully I can tie them together into something meaningful.

REFLECTION

I haven’t blogged in a few weeks. In part because I am somewhat living in the future. We talk a lot about enjoying the moment and the process because the journey is much longer than the actual destination. However, with injury the coping mechanism of looking ahead is almost necessary in order to stay positive during a difficult time both physically and emotionally. With how very much I miss training, and how much I equally miss connecting with others about working out reminding myself that “in two months it won’t be this way” or “in the summertime I will be doing these group events” helps keep fearfulness and sadness from taking over too much. Some days are better than others but it’s an emotional journey for sure.

With that setting goals for the year in terms of my training is quite different than years past.  I am still early-on in the fairly long recovery process with my shoulder. I am not quite sure what to expect in terms of my athletic rebuild with this ailment, and can’t necessarily set educated concrete goals regarding my capabilities. An injury to my upper body is not something I have gone through before and it is scary. My talents as an athlete stem from my upper body strength. My very best athletic performances to date deal with upper body movements. In fact, not to be dramatic but some of the best experiences of my life relate to these upper body accomplishments. I did however want to share something I am extremely thankful for in relation to this injury that is new.

THANKFUL

For the first time, I have an awesome physical therapist whose involvement is making a very positive impact on my recovery. Scott, a a physical therapist and friend from the gym is unique for a number of reasons. One, he truly believes in my athletic abilities and potential. I can’t tell you how awesome it is to have a healthcare provider who understands what my sport means to me. In the past I have had numerous providers bash CrossFit and certainly lack understanding regarding how serious it is for me. Not necessarily being an elite athlete, but rather aspiring to be one, they just didn’t get it and simply told me to stop. In fact, when I originally saw a doctor about my shoulder his notes said something along the lines of “enjoys working out.” To have someone who knows this is my passion that I have made sacrifices for, and believes in my potential is something that is invaluable to me as an athlete.

Second, not only does Scott believe in me but I am so thankful for his willingness to go above and beyond for me for no real reason other than the fact that he’s just an awesome physical therapist and person. He has five kids, with a sixth coming. He has multiple avenues of physical therapy he is working in. He just built a house, and he still manages to train each day. Despite that, he offered without my asking to go with me to my next appointment with my surgeon. He told me he needed to ask him some questions. Usually having surgeons who don’t do my sport, I was blown away that Scott was willing to take so much of his valuable time to assist me in communicating with my doctor and getting answers regarding how to approach movements in my recovery. He is willing to do this simply out of the goodness of his heart and so I can heal as well and fast as possible.

Also, having someone in my corner to reach out to that I trust when I have a question or concern is invaluable. Feeling alone is one of the absolute hardest parts of injury for me. To be able to shoot a text and have guidance regarding my recovery, and know someone is there looking out for my best interest is something I am extremely grateful for.

GOALS

Training: While as mentioned making concrete training goals is not really feasible at this time I do have a couple. The first is health. I want to be physically healthy enough to train and explore ways that I can help myself stay healthy to break the cycle of injury. The second is rebuilding. This time next year I want to be better than I was pre-injury. I am not sure if that will necessarily be in regards to lifting certain amounts, but overall I want to be fitter. The third is double unders. I want to find a way to turn this weakness (which has devastated my dreams really in multiple years) into a strength. Hopefully I can use this injury to re-learn a more efficient movement pattern and then find a resource that can help me improve this skill without overloading my body to injury like I have done previously. I will find a way to conquer this movement which has held me back time and time again.

Coaching: I would also really like to grow as a coach this year. I want to get at least two certifications completed. I also want to build confidence in the knowledge I have in order to more personally help others and grow into the type of coach I am striving to be.

Mental: As always mental health is something that is a work in progress for me. One thing I was excelling at in training right before I got injured was focusing on where I was and not where I wanted to be. This allowed me to push harder, enjoy training more, and actually make progress after a really difficult slump. I am hoping to channel that once again especially during my rebuild which comes with its own ups and downs. Comparing to others is also something that has impacted my mental health negatively a lot the past several months. I want to continue to work to appreciate my unique qualities and not compare to others. Another big goal is not letting anxiety and fear limit me, and having courage to do things I want to do even if I am scared.

None of these are simple or easy. However, if I can approach them like I was doing with training, one day at a time, having compassion for myself, and taking small steps towards an overarching goal, I will be able to make some real progress in 2018.

My last thought is that often we don’t see how far we’ve come. Just as an analogy when we diet people around us might not notice physical changes since they see us daily. Same concept in regards to our relationship with ourselves. Oftentimes in living day-to-day life we don’t see the progress we made. I can think of one distinct coaching goal I set this year and said “when this happens, that will be a really good start.” And I’m actually there!

But as I mentioned in the beginning of this post as humans we are always pushing ourselves to grow, and this is a great thing. However, we shouldn’t discount how far we’ve come. I bet every single person can look back on the year and see something about themselves or their lives they once wished they had that is now there. As we focus on our passion, following our heart, and trying our best day-to-day we are bound to make changes that will continue to shape our lives into whatever we want them to be.