BURPEES AND DOUBLE UNDERS

I know I haven’t blogged for quite some time. I’ve thought about it on numerous occasions. But somehow, I would always talk myself out of it, and determine what I had to say was not relevant, important, or worthwhile. However, I don’t know how I could have made such a determination when in the very least, the catharsis of writing and sharing helps me tremendously. So, I am making an effort to be more open about sharing and not letting fear or comparing thoughts shy me away from it.

My training has been going very well these past few weeks. I finally feel I have mentally turned a bit of corner, and as such physically I have been feeling much better. On Monday, I was thinking about a workout I performed that day which had a lot of burpees. I would say in general, burpees are a CrossFit movement the vast majority of people dislike, or in the very least are not at the top of their favorite list. However, for me, they are one of my favorites. I was thinking about why this is the case.

First off, being five feet, the distance I have to travel is not nearly as far as those who are taller. In addition, I have very tight shoulders. I am lucky to have an explosive upper body, especially when it comes to pressing strength, which is a fundamental part of the burpee. As such, for me popping off the ground multiple times just feels less taxing than it might for others who have different athletic gifts. It feels like a minimal amount of effort to get up off the ground and back to standing.

Now, why I bring this up is because conversely, I have a weakness for double unders, another very important CrossFit movement, especially when it comes to a competition setting. This skill has held me back for years, and honestly it sometimes feels puzzling on how to even improve upon it. There are also a few reasons why this movement is difficult for me. First, it involves jumping. In general, this ability does not come naturally to me. Second, I have extremely tight shoulders, making this simple jump rope movement much more taxing, both muscularly and cardiovascularly. Because of this tightness, I just lack the capacity to perform this movement with efficiency, and it takes a tremendous amount of energy to execute, especially in a high intensity workout.

Typically, when this movement comes up and I can’t perform at the level I deem necessary, I beat myself up about it. How can I possibly not have this skill down after almost six years of CrossFit? I am a hopeless case. Why I am even still trying? This will always hold me back. I should give up. I’ve reached my potential. And for the past six months I have given up on many workouts because of the pervasive nature of these thoughts. However, like I mentioned things have begun to shift. And there are numerous reasons for that, perhaps for another blog.

But to get back to what these two movements have to do with one another. On Monday I had a thought of appreciation for my tight shoulders, recognizing for maybe the first time just how much they assist me in making burpees a strength, despite their limiting nature in certain other movements.

In that moment, I was able to stop feeling such self-hate for having this weakness. This sounds so silly to use such strong words when thinking about something as simple as an exercise movement. But for me, I always felt like I was lacking and had no shortage of ways to bring myself down. Not recognizing that the very reason for one of my biggest weaknesses, is also the reason for one of my biggest strengths. And so, the following Tuesday when we did a very difficult double under workout, I was able to get through it. Sure, I was behind a lot of the other athletes, but as I was performing the workout I felt a sense of acceptance and acknowledgement. This movement feeling hard is the same reason that burpees felt easy yesterday. And they are equally important in my sport. So, even though this is a struggle, I am working very hard to improve upon it. And there is no reason to bring myself down about it, and make working on my weakness even more challenging than it needs to be!

This realization was a great step forward for me on my journey to becoming a more mentally sound athlete. I know I have a ways to go, and still feel a sense struggle a lot of the time in regards to my head. However, perhaps just like the example above, this pervasive battle in my life also contributes to some of my biggest strengths as a person, and I have yet to even uncover what all of those are or how this difficulty will help me in the future.

Even though this seems like a small anecdote about exercise, it is really a mini lesson of something that happens in life, as CrossFit usually is; that can be used to grow in any area we wish. So, the next time you find yourself hating a part of you because of a weakness, perhaps remember this weakness is also a contributor to one of your biggest strengths. I will strive to do the same as I continue to progress both athletically, and internally.