COACH NOT CONDEMN

I’ve talked a lot recently about trying to change my usual way of self-talk and thinking to be more productive in my training and actually enjoy it. I wish I could say I have been super successful with this but I honestly haven’t. I’m still struggling with not beating myself up or being so hard on myself that I make my favorite thing to do un-enjoyable at times. This is how I’ve felt lately when I show up to workout:

I really want to find a way to conquer this negative self-talk. I know it is the piece of the puzzle missing from what it will take me to reach my goals. So, I have a new strategy I'm going to implement. One thing I do that makes me know even on my darkest days of training that I love CrossFit with everything I am is being able to have the opportunity to coach others. I’m generally extremely nervous in social situations, shy, and have a ton of trouble even inserting myself into a group conversation. I generally leave these experiences demoralized, wondering what is “wrong” with me to not like groups even where I know the people.

However, when I’m coaching I don’t feel that way. My social fears and what I consider inadequacies are out-shined by my extreme love of sharing my passion with others. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to try and make them feel what I feel so fortunate to experience at the gym. Which is a place where I can be myself and am so accepted and loved for who I am. A place where I feel empowered, and able to conquer things in my life that seem insurmountable. And also a place where I gain strength, not just physically, but mentally; and grow as a person to become the best version of myself.

Therefore, I love coaching. While I would be lying if I said I don’t get nervous sometimes, it is absolutely worth it because I have the chance to share something that to me is instrumental in bettering lives. There is so much negative that goes on in the world. I have a day job writing appeals to fight insurance companies to try and get struggling teens mental health coverage. While this is rewarding, to me it doesn’t in the slightest bit compare to what coaching allows me to do. CrossFit and coaching is inherently positive. We are not necessarily fixing a problem; we are just sharing a solution to better health and quality of life. People generally join a gym with dread to change something about their physical appearance. And while CrossFit clearly does that for us, it also changes people mentally and emotionally. It also gives them a support system and group of friends they never knew they had. And in doing so, they know longer dread their workout they love it. How amazing to be a part of teaching this to others. It’s a gift I feel so blessed to have.

I don’t feel I’m perfect at coaching. I still don’t know the right cues to tell people to help them get a certain movement. I don’t always know what to say. But I am so lucky to have the opportunity to learn and grow in this position and hopefully one day be close to as good as my coach and others who have taught me.

So you may be wondering what this has to do with trying to change my negative self-talk while training. My new focus is not going to be on just changing or challenging the thoughts I have about myself, because honestly they come too fast and furious and are simply overwhelming.

Hitting a new PR thanks to supportive coaching.

Instead, I am going to treat myself like an athlete I am coaching, rather than an enemy. I actually listened to a podcast about a year ago on this subject with an amazing CrossFit Games Athlete by the name of Jason Khalipa. Check it out at: http://www.btbpodcast.com/ it is episode 54! I think I will re-listen to it; it gave such valuable advice relating to this subject and was honestly inspiring. This athlete more than many that I look up to knows how to push himself, and I’m sure this mental piece of the puzzle is what allows him to do that.

Anyway, when I am coaching I generally try and give people cues or critiques that will help them improve their form on something. I also like to try and provide positive feedback about how they made their movement just a little bit better. We all know it is completely counterproductive to just focus on the negative when trying to help someone else. If we all went into a review at work and were only told how much we suck, chances are we’d end up quitting our job. And since CrossFit is a place where I want everyone to feel welcomed, supported, and safe to come back I would never do that.

Additionally, as I mentioned last post, CrossFit is hard! The high intensity piece is what yields results, and makes it so challenging. Therefore, during the metabolic conditioning portion of the workout it’s not uncommon to be a little on-edge emotionally. You are trying to push the limit of your potential and grow, become a better athlete and person, and that is tough! So, when that part of the workout comes up, I like to remind people in class of cues to keep good form, encourage them, reassure them they’re okay and doing great. Try and help them see it’s almost over. Compliment their effort or movement if they’re just crushing it! And try and provide little tips or adjustments if they are not quite meeting the movement standard.

To me, in trying to help others in these ways, it works towards fulfilling my goals as a coach. I want to help others get a little bit better each day, feel accepted and a part of the gym community that is like home to me. And help them feel that even if they aren’t the best off the bat, or have a long way to go fitness wise that CrossFit is a safe place for them. They don’t have to feel out of place, because every athlete that comes in the door has their own athletic and personal gifts and potential that make them an integral part of the community. I truly believe this. Everyone is an athlete. I also feel it is my job to help them see improvements and progress they are making on their road to becoming better athletically, and hope this will transfer to other parts of their life as well.

Pulling for strength!

So, when I am training that is how I am going to try and talk to myself. Currently when I’m working out I am so driven by the fear that I am not good enough or my goals are not attainable; that all I do is beat myself up and tell myself I’m not working hard enough, going fast enough, and will never reach my goals. I already know that using fear as a motivator rarely works and doesn’t yield the benefits I am looking for. No one wants to do something for a bully, and rarely do we want to do something we are afraid of. Instead I am going to try and coach rather than condemn myself. I am going to remind myself of form cues, I am going to tell myself what I would tell athletes I am coaching. I am going to acknowledge the things I am doing well. If I have something I am working on as far as my movement is concerned I will of course try and correct it, but acknowledge progress I have made. Just like I would for an athlete I am coaching. Sometimes, I receive a cue about something I need to work on and I get so hung up on how wrong I am performing I forget how far I’ve come.

I think this new strategy to attacking my mental weaknesses is going to be helpful. I love coaching, and being a coach only makes me more passionate about CrossFit. I also love training, even more so when I am not with someone mean who is tearing me down! Therefore, if I can coach myself I will love what I do and enjoy the process of improving as an athlete. I will not question why I am doing this, because my passion won’t be diminished by my fear and insecurities. I will then and only then start to become the athlete I dream of being. I must conquer my mental weaknesses holding me back. I know if I can solve this piece in my game as an athlete, than I will reach my athletic goals. Because like I have said, when I am not diminishing myself through fear, I see my potential and know it is more than I can even imagine.