SHARING WHAT I LOVE

I've been a little uninspired about what to write lately, hence my three week absence from the blog. I'm hoping as I start to write, something good will come together. 

A picture from the best lifting day ever
last week. No missed lifts!

Sometimes with all that I see going on in the world it's hard to want to share about my seemingly insignificant personal struggles or successes. But, I think we have to remember it's those personal connections and stories that show how much good there is in the world, and how much we can positively impact and support one another.

Besides some injury flair ups which have been a little troubling I have been loving training the past few weeks. And the reason for this ties into what I said above. I have a training partner now and it has completely changed the entire course of my training and frankly brightened my life since I consider training my priority. 

When I was struggling so much with my mental game the last few months I kept telling myself that if I really want it I can train alone. I can motivate myself. Every time I had a rough session I would tell myself that I must not have what it takes despite still getting through everything programmed. And it was just me and myself to discuss this with in the moment...

I'm still working hard to overcome this mental weakness which is frankly debilitating and hindering me athletically. But it has lessened so much since having the opportunity to train with someone else. I think there are a couple reasons why this is the case. 

One thing that initially made me fall in love with CrossFit was the community aspect of going through something tough with others and being able to share about the experience. For someone like me who has struggled quite a bit with making friends or feeling like I was part of a group, it was shocking to feel such a sense of belonging. And it changed my life. While I have competitive goals which might mean I do have to train alone sometimes, I think in a way I felt my training was isolating me. It was taking away this precious thing I feel so lucky to have. And while I have my athletic dreams and will do whatever is necessary to one day achieve them, I really still greatly need the connection that CrossFit yields. And that's okay! This is a need for me and my mental health and having it when I can makes me a better athlete.

Now that I have a training partner, I don't feel so isolated anymore. I have someone there to talk to and share the experience with. When it's a rough day or super heavy weights, or I have an injury concern, there is someone there! When I am going through the workouts, I feel supported to keep going, just having someone beside me doing the same thing. It has made me re-fall in love with this sport I have made the center of my life...

Also, besides my partner being there for me, I am able to be there for her. When she has a rough day or is down or discouraged I'm able to try and build her up. This not only (hopefully ha ha) helps her in some small way but it helps me overcome my mental deficits. I don't treat her like I do myself. I recognize she is trying her best, giving full effort, making progress, etc. I can view her from my friend/coach eyes as opposed to the bully terrorizing eyes I usually view myself with. This has made it easier for me to work on treating myself in a more productive way, which as you have heard from week to week continues to be a big struggle for me. It is slowly helping me be a better self-coach and trust in my effort that day to reach my goals. 

Thanks for training with me Sarah!!! I love being your swolemate!!

Getting my first split jerk PR in two years!
A tough lift since my ACL tear and having
a supportive training partner helped me push
past my fear! 

So this brings me back to what I wrote in the beginning of my post. I feel so somber sometimes when thinking about the world. There just seems to be so much suffering and hate on a large scale. It makes me feel selfish and silly to share about my particular struggles or successes or have the passion for CrossFit that I do. But I think we have to recognize that our actions and lives are bigger than ourselves. I can think of multiple individuals that have changed the course of my life and as such hopefully maybe I can do the same for someone else. These are all reminders that there is so much good still around us. 

This may seem naive but I think if more people were lucky enough to experience the support, friendship, and self-betterment CrossFit has provided me, so much could be solved. Not feeling alone in life can make all the difference in how it goes, how we view things, and how we even feel about ourselves and our purpose. So for now I will continue to enjoy training with others, and continue to pursue and share my passion for CrossFit. It's the small actions we do that can have the most impact. So we should never feel insignificant or that what we do doesn't really matter. Because even impacting one life has so much meaning and in the long run can impact many lives. I am again so grateful for all those that have touched my life so far. And hope I can reach others in the same way.