WEIGHTLIFTING IS FEMININE

This week at the gym I was hanging out with some people from my class. Someone complimented my nails. Side note, about a year ago I got my nails done for a wedding, and just loved it and the way it made me feel! Since then I’ve been kind of hooked, and just really enjoy getting to pick new colors and designs every few weeks. Anyway, I responded to them by saying, “thanks, it’s the only feminine thing I do.” And my friend Rachel said “weightlifting is feminine.” And that got me thinking about something.

So much of how we view ourselves and the world is based on societal constructs regarding what is considered good, appropriate, valid, etc. If I lived in a culture where females dominated strength sports, would I still feel that my passion and hobbies aren’t “feminine.” Would I still feel the need to explain how getting my nails done makes me feel more “girly," as if qualifying the fact that I love all things related to the gym and generally don’t feel I have the same style as a lot of other females that I often compare myself to?

This then got me thinking about something else. Lately, (like most people) I often get waves of feeling insecure. Whether that be my looks, personality, talents, traits, whatever. And sometimes in my head I feel this extreme need to make a change, most of the time to my diet in an effort to "fix" something about me.  And for some reason I have started asking myself this question, which ties into the conversation about my nails perfectly. I usually ask “if the societal view of beauty was different, would I still feel this need to make a change to my diet in an effort to look a certain way?” And the answer I usually give myself is no. The reasons being 1. The way I eat currently allows me to feel healthy physically and emotionally. 2. I have literally never felt more fit in my training, so why would I make a change when performance is my number one priority? 3. I know that making a dietary change combined with other things I have going on in my life would have a negative impact on my mental health, and therefore is certainly not worth it.

These experiences and questions lend to the idea that oftentimes we are very much impacted by outside factors when viewing ourselves or deciding how we should be or what we need to change. Social media in particular has magnified this further. While it can be very positive allowing us to network, connect, and share about our lives. It also is detrimental in that in the touch of a button, we can compare our biggest weaknesses to other’s strengths. Or, compare our entire lives to a small snapshot of someone else’s, where numerous factors are not shared. This often makes it difficult to know what we really want for ourselves on the inside, as comparison can often feel like it is coming from within, however, it is usually coming from a place of fear, rather than one of faith.

I perhaps am writing this more for myself than anyone else. But, I think when we are considering making a change, or beating ourselves up about our unique qualities we should ask ourselves where this is coming from? Is this coming from our heart and a desire to truly become better, healthier, have increased performance, or just bring more positivity into our lives? Or is it coming from a place of fear and comparing? Or feelings of inadequacy that we are not good enough or don’t have enough to offer? Sometimes these feelings can got jumbled up and intertwined, so I think it’s important for us to be in tune with ourselves when we decide to make a change in an effort to become better.

Anytime I do something out of fear or insecurity, it never turns out all that well, and never really feels that right on the inside. It’s also usually hard to sustain, and I often question if it is the “right” choice. However, when I do things out of love or a desire to get better or CONQUER fear, it feels perfect. And I am suddenly in a spot where I am amazed at how my life is going.

When we are considering things about us that we deem unacceptable I think it can be helpful to assess where this feeling is truly coming from. And if we can follow those things that are coming from our heart and are fueled by passion, we will be much better equipped to reach new hard goals, and better ourselves, whether that be physically or emotionally.